


Dealing With It

by beer_good



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Community: zombie_fest, Gen, Major Character Undeath, Post-Series, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 19:44:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10974084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beer_good/pseuds/beer_good
Summary: "How many freaking kinds of zombies ARE there?" Buffy asks as the living dead close in. Xander has answers, but not the ones she's hoping for.





	Dealing With It

**Title:** Dealing With It  
 **Author:** Beer Good   
**Rating:** PG13  
 **Word Count:** 400  
 **Fandom:** _Buffy The Vampire Slayer_ , post-series  
 **Warning:** Character (un)death  
 **Summary:** For **zombie_fest** and **strina** 's prompt: Buffy, Xander, "How many freaking kinds of zombies ARE there?"

**Dealing With It**

"...Well, it depends on the canon. I mean, there's more than one type of zombie."

Buffy rolled her eyes in exasperation, checked the door again and then crouched down beside him. "Fine. So how many freaking kinds of zombies are there?"

"Oh, dozens." Xander gave a nervous laugh as there was another loud crash outside. "I mean, there's your classical Romero-slash-Fulci zombie, basically just a slow animated corpse that eats living flesh and moans a lot. Then you've got the Dan O'Bannon version that runs around screaming for brains, the _28 Days Later_ type that's not really a zombie at all, and don't let Andrew tell you otherwise... Plus of course the hometown favorites, African Death Mask zombies and reanimated corpses that try to blow up Sunnydale High. Did I ever tell you about those? And then there's -"

"OK, this is getting us nowhere," Buffy interrupted. "We're looking specifically for zombies that _don't_ turn you into one of them if you... if you..."

"You can say it, Buff." His voice was soft, almost drowned out as another loud crash shook the door.

"If you get bitten."

"Yeah. That... that's pretty much a given in most cases. I think there might be one or two exceptions in the movies, but hey, it seems to be what all the cool kids are doing these days..." He trailed off, and winced as he once again pulled the strap for the eyepatch out of the bite on his cheek. His fingers trembled just a little more than they had a few minutes ago. "It's OK. My bad. If I'd just turned the other cheek, I would have seen him coming."

The door shook again as bodies pressed against it, the hinges creaking in harmony with the moans from outside.

"You know..." He nodded at the scythe on the floor. "You could probably fight your way through. All those years dodging vamps with kung fu powers, zombies should be a cinch."

"Yeah." She sat down and pulled him close with hands blistered from slaying, careful not to touch the deep gash in his leg. "But I'm not in a hurry."

The noise kept getting louder, the shakes worse.

"Just promise me one thing, OK?"

"What?"

"Don't have Willow shove a soul in me. Not that I mind the principle, it's just..." Gasping now. "Y'know, the idea of never again eating anything but pig's brains..."

She forced herself not to glance at the scythe. "You got it."

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in September 2009, slightly revised May 2017


End file.
